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Maps show the changes of the lakeside (2000 – 2009).

Maps show the changes of the lakeside (2000 – 2009). Pr3qE
The maps illustrate the alterations in the lakeside from 2000 to 2009. At first glance, it is evident that the most noticeable changes occurred for the number of residential area and the size of the lake between 2000 and 2009. To begin with the north of the river, there were a new car park, new offices and new university which replaced the position of derelict warehouses and old town in 2000. Multi-screen, furthermore, was built in the south part of residential area, specifically in the west of the new schools in which to the south of multi-screen cinema, there was a shopping centre which had been constructed in the place of residential area in previous time. In contrast, residential area, which was in the north side of arts centre, remained unchanged over the whole period. In accordance with south part of the river, the existence of new industrial complex had been extended to the south part of the lakeside and replaced the place of residential area in 2000. To the north of new industrial complex, 2000 to 2009 witnessed a considerable change for the size of the lake in which it became smaller in 2009.
The maps illustrate the alterations in the lakeside from 2000 to 2009. At
first
glance, it is evident that the most noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
occurred for the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and the size of the lake between 2000 and 2009.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the north of the river, there were a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
car park,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
offices and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
university which replaced the position of derelict warehouses and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
town in 2000. Multi-screen,
furthermore
,
was built
in the south part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
,
specifically
in the west of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
schools in which to the south of multi-screen cinema, there was a shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
which had
been constructed
in the place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in previous time.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, which was in the north side of arts
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, remained unchanged over the whole period.

In accordance with south part of the river, the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
industrial complex had
been extended
to the south part of the lakeside and replaced the place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
in 2000. To the north of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
industrial complex, 2000 to 2009 witnessed a considerable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for the size of the lake in which it became smaller in 2009.
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IELTS academic Maps show the changes of the lakeside (2000 – 2009).

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
195 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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