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The diagram illustrates the process steps involved in production of carbonated drinks from scratch.

The diagram illustrates the process steps involved in production of carbonated drinks from scratch. RwqLp
The diagram illustrates the process steps involved in production of carbonated drinks from scratch. Overall, the process takes place in five major steps starting with cleansing of water to packaging of the final product. The making starts with purification of water, where the raw water is passed through a filter to remove the impurities and softened removing the hardness. Thereafter, the water is then treated with chemicals and pumped on to the heating and evaporation and carbonation section where water is cooled down and injested with carbon dioxide. On the latter stages the carbonated water is added with different agents such as colour, syrup and flavours which are then transfered to filling and filtering stage. The drink is then hereby packed in to cans and bottles. These products are then packed into larger containers and start there final leg of the process, the journey to suppermarkets using different transporting methods.
The diagram illustrates the process steps involved in production of carbonated drinks from scratch.

Overall
, the process takes place in five major steps starting with cleansing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to packaging of the final product.

The making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with purification of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, where the raw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is passed
through a filter to remove the impurities and softened removing the hardness. Thereafter, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is then treated with chemicals and pumped on to the heating and evaporation and carbonation section where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is cooled
down and
Possible spelling mistake found.
injested
with carbon dioxide.

On the latter stages the carbonated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
agents such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
, syrup and
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavours' is British English.
flavours
which are then
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "transferred", the past tense form of the verb 'transfer'?
transfered
to filling and filtering stage. The drink is then hereby packed in to cans and bottles. These products are then packed into larger containers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
there final leg of the process, the journey to
Possible spelling mistake found.
suppermarkets
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
transporting methods.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates the process steps involved in production of carbonated drinks from scratch.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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