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The diagram illustrates natural process of honey production which is prepared by bees. Overall, in the first step,Bees starts to make a hive which also works as storage room for nectar collection.

The diagram illustrates natural process of honey production which is prepared by bees. Overall, in the first step, Bees starts to make a hive which also works as storage room for nectar collection. Gr9JB
The diagram illustrates natural process of honey production which is prepared by bees. Overall, in the first step, Bees starts to make a hive which also works as storage room for nectar collection. After finishing making hive bees need to search for perfect flower to suck nectar, this nectar later turns into honey. firstly, honey bees prepare space to store nectar that they collect from flowers, numer of bees take part into this. making hives allows bees to keep and evaporate nectar. Following that, bees search for flowers with possible nectar availability, to suck the nectar from it. Bees take this nectar back to hive for collection. Bees requires to cool down the nectar, so they sit on it to air it with their fasting moving feathers, this let all water evaporates. finally, after evaporation part honey is prepared.
The diagram illustrates natural process of honey production which
is prepared
by bees.
Overall
, in the
first
step, Bees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a hive which
also
works as storage room for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
collection. After finishing making hive bees need to search for perfect flower to suck
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
later turns into honey.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, honey bees prepare space to store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
that they collect from flowers,
Possible spelling mistake found.
numer
of bees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
into this.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
making
hives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
bees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
and evaporate nectar.

Following that, bees search for flowers with possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
availability, to suck the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
from it. Bees take this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
back to hive for collection.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "bee requires".
Bees requires
Did you mean "cooling"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to cool
down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nectar
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they sit on it to air it with their fasting moving feathers, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
all water evaporates.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finally
, after evaporation part honey
is prepared
.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrates natural process of honey production which is prepared by bees. Overall, in the first step, Bees starts to make a hive which also works as storage room for nectar collection.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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