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Two pie charts show a comparison of the proportion of people with different degrees (first degree,master) and (Arts,science) who worked in an engineering company in 1980 and 2008

Two pie charts show a comparison of the proportion of people with different degrees (first degree, master) and (Arts, science) who worked in an engineering company in 1980 and 2008 e3AA7
The supplied pie charts outline the percentage of employees about various degrees that worked in a company of engineering in the period of 1980 and 2008. From general observation of the chart, it is possible to deduce that the figure for Masters Science was shown noticable percentage while PhD Arts were the lowest level over the mentioned year of 1980 and 2008. As can be seen from the table, it is clear that in 1980 the precentage for Masters Science was the highest at 29% and this index remained stable. As for the second highest ratio was First Degree Arts which reached to 25% in the span of 1980, but then this indicator decreased by 11% in 2008. However, the PhD Science was remakable larger by comparin 1980 accounting 30% which hit the highest percentage in the year 2008. According to the table 1, PhD Arts showed the lowest proportion in 1980 amounting 2%, since then this level was taken off t0 7%. Another change was happened with First Degree Science which showed 19% in 1980. However, it dropped to 10% in the year 2008. For the Masters Arts the percentage was witnessed a slightly rise from 12% to 13% in the given year of 1980 and 2008.
The supplied pie charts outline the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of employees about various degrees that worked in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of engineering in the period of 1980 and 2008. From general observation of the chart, it is possible to deduce that the figure for Masters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
was shown
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noticable
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percentage
while PhD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
were the lowest level over the mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 1980 and 2008. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the table, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in 1980 the
Possible spelling mistake found.
precentage
for Masters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
was the highest at 29% and this index remained stable. As for the second highest ratio was
First
Degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
which reached to 25% in the span of 1980,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then this indicator decreased by 11% in 2008.
However
, the PhD
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Science
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
remakable
larger by
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparin
1980 accounting 30% which hit the highest
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percentage
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008. According to the table 1, PhD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the lowest proportion in 1980 amounting 2%, since then this level
was taken
off t0 7%. Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was happened
with
First
Degree
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
19% in 1980.
However
, it dropped to 10% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2008. For the Masters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was witnessed
a
You used an adverb ('slightly') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('rise') instead of another adjective.
slightly rise
from 12% to 13% in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of 1980 and 2008.
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IELTS academic Two pie charts show a comparison of the proportion of people with different degrees (first degree, master) and (Arts, science) who worked in an engineering company in 1980 and 2008

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
208 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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