Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

the diagram gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000

The chart give information regarding the number of parcels sent by two main mail services companies; Federal Express and TNT Mail Service from 1920 to 2000. Overall, the parcels delivery by both parties rose steadily from 1920 to 1940, fluctuating around 5000 and 10. 000 respectively. However, FedEx company experienced rapid fell of sales after 1940 with the loss of 13. 000 parcels order make it the lowest of income in 1960. In contrary, TNT then increased steadily from 1940 to 1960. There is a similar pattern of the sales in 1970, which fluctuate for both companies. By contrast, TNT climbed dramatically in the year 1980 leaving FedEx behind by the peak number of 24. 000 orders. By contrast, the fedex were falling consistently from 1940 to 2000. In summary, it seems that FedEx was leading the sales until 1960 but the defeated by the TNT with sudden fluctuate in 1980 to 2000.
The chart give information regarding the number of parcels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
by two main mail services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
; Federal Express and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
Mail Service from 1920 to 2000.
Overall
, the
An apostrophe may be missing.
parcels
delivery by both parties rose
steadily
from 1920 to 1940, fluctuating around 5000 and 10. 000
respectively
.
However
, FedEx
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
experienced rapid fell of sales after 1940 with the loss of 13. 000 parcels order
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it the lowest of income in 1960. In contrary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
then increased
steadily
from 1940 to 1960.

There is a similar pattern of the sales in 1970, which fluctuate for both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
climbed
dramatically
in the year 1980 leaving FedEx behind by the peak number of 24. 000 orders. By contrast, the
Did you mean “FedEx” (can also be used as a verb)?
fedex
were falling
consistently
from 1940 to 2000.

In summary, it seems that FedEx was leading the sales until 1960
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the defeated by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
with sudden fluctuate in 1980 to 2000.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic the diagram gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • the diagram gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000