Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The given pie chart illustrates the percentage of 3 different types of aged people of 2 different countries in 2000 and the estimation for 2050. According to statistical data, in the year of 2000 of the Yemen, there are 50. 1% of young people, who are less than 14 years whereas, it may be dramatically decreased to 37% by 2050. Moreover, with 46. 3% of 15-59 age group was the second highest in the past but it might be escalated to 57. 3% and it stand at the first position. Moving on to the Italy, the highest population was between 15-59 age people in the year 2000 but when it comes to 2050 there are chances to fell down to 46. 2% and still stands by first place. Additionally, 24. 1% of old citizens were few in the past on the contrasty they will be increased to 42. 3% in coming time and also make their place at second. All in all, in the Yemen, there are extremely few old people in the both categories of past and further. In the Italy, the young people play’s a very less role in the both formats. Furthermore, in the average 15-59 age group people plays a vital role in both countries with almost above 40%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart illustrates the percentage of 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of 2
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries in 2000 and the estimation for 2050.

According to statistical data, in the year of 2000 of the Yemen, there are 50. 1% of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who are less than 14 years whereas, it may be
dramatically
decreased to 37% by 2050.
Moreover
, with 46. 3% of 15-59 age group was the second highest in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it might
be escalated
to 57. 3% and it
After ‘it’, use the third-person verb form “stands”.
stand
at the
first
position.

Moving on to the Italy, the highest population was between 15-59 age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the year 2000
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to 2050 there are chances to fell down to 46. 2% and
still
stands by
first
place.
Additionally
, 24. 1% of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
citizens were few in the past on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
contrasty
they will
be increased
to 42. 3% in coming time and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their place at second.

All in all, in the Yemen, there are
extremely
few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the both categories of past and
further
. In the Italy, the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play’s a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less role in the both formats.
Furthermore
, in the average 15-59 age group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
plays
a vital role in both countries with almost above 40%.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
213 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.