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Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The pie charts illustrates the proportion of water consumption for three different sectors: industrial, agricultural and domestic in six different regions around the world. Notably, water usage for agriculture has significant percentage globally. Only two areas namely North America and Europe consumes water predominantly for Industrial purpose. Both North America and Europe consume higher amount of water in this region for commercial use at 48% and 53% respectively. In contrast, the rate is more than 80% in Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia in terms of water use for production of food. This three area has almost identical water consumption profiles with 7% to 9% of domestic intake and 7%, 5% and 12% of Industrial use respectively. South America has higher portion of water usage at 71% and 19% for both Agricultural and Domestic reason which is higher than North America and Europe surprisingly. But the rate in terms of Industrial consumption is one tenth of total proportion for South America. More or less one third of the water is used for agriculture in North America and Europe which indicates their proper water distribution in all sectors even though they are industrial nation.
The pie charts illustrates the proportion of
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water
consumption for three
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different
sectors:
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industrial
, agricultural and domestic in six
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different
regions around the world.
Notably
,
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water
usage for agriculture has significant percentage globally.
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Only
two areas
namely
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North
America and Europe consumes
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water
predominantly
for
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Industrial
purpose. Both
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North
America and Europe consume higher amount of
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water
in this region for commercial
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use
at 48% and 53%
respectively
.
In contrast
, the rate is more than 80% in Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia in terms of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for production of food. This three area has almost identical
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water
consumption profiles with 7% to 9% of domestic intake and 7%, 5% and 12% of
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Industrial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
respectively
. South America has higher portion of
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water
usage at 71% and 19% for both Agricultural and Domestic reason which is higher than
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North
America and Europe
surprisingly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the rate in terms of
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Industrial
consumption is one tenth of total proportion for South America. More or less one third of the
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water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for agriculture in
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North
America and Europe which indicates their proper
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water
distribution in all sectors
even though
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
nation.
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IELTS academic Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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