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The diagram gives information about the basic principles of consumer goods producing, including phases of information feedback Overall, the process consists of 9 main stages, beginning with product research and ending up with sales.

The diagram gives information about the basic principles of consumer goods producing, including phases of information feedback Overall, the process consists of 9 main stages, beginning with product research and ending up with sales. Aj1Oe
The diagram gives information about the basic principles of consumer goods producing, including phases of information feedback Overall, the process consists of 9 main stages, beginning with product research and ending up with sales. First of all, raw materials and manufactured components are collected in the warehouse. For producing the goods, respectively product research, design and planning stages are completed. After that the materials that collected are assembled to create final product. Following this, these manufacturing goods are undergone to inspection and test. If the products can pass the inspection stage. They are transferred to phase of packaging. Then they are ready to despatch and sales. These were the stages from collecting the materials to sales. There are another two more stages to assist all phases. While the producing process go on, at the same time marketing research and advertising works are sustained to gain best profit from the product.
The diagram gives information about the basic principles of consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
producing, including phases of information feedback

Overall
, the process consists of 9 main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
, beginning with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
research and ending up with sales.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, raw materials and manufactured components
are collected
in the warehouse. For producing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
respectively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
research, design and planning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
are completed
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the materials that collected
are assembled
to create final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Following this, these manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are undergone to inspection and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can pass the inspection
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
. They
are transferred
to phase of packaging. Then they are ready to despatch and sales. These were the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
from collecting the materials to sales.

There are another two more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
to assist all phases. While the producing process go on, at the same time marketing research and advertising works
are sustained
to
A determiner is probably missing here: "gain the best".
gain best
profit from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
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IELTS academic The diagram gives information about the basic principles of consumer goods producing, including phases of information feedback Overall, the process consists of 9 main stages, beginning with product research and ending up with sales.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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