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The diagram gives information about manyfacturing of noodles?

The diagram gives information about manyfacturing of noodles? w9km
The Illustrated diagram is a clear presentation of of production of noodles. There are eight stages in this process, which starts from storage of flour into silos, and culminating with labelling and sealing Turning to the details, firstly, floor is it transferred into sillos from a truck for storing, and after that water and oil is mixed in a mixture. Following this, with the use of Roller Derby sheets are being formed, and after continuous this process, it separated into deposit rates. After the completion of this phase, long strips are being modelled molded into noodle discs. Moving further, subsequently, noodles are cooked in a oil under the heating and then, it is dried next these dried noodles together mixed with vegetables and spices in a cups. Eventually, these cups are being labelled, and sealed for shipping in a supermarket for selling.
The Illustrated diagram is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
presentation
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodles
. There are eight stages in this process, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
from storage of flour into silos, and culminating with labelling and sealing

Turning to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
firstly
, floor is it transferred into
Possible spelling mistake found.
sillos
from a truck for storing, and after that water and oil
is mixed
in a mixture. Following this, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of Roller Derby sheets are
being formed
, and after continuous this process, it separated into deposit rates. After the completion of this phase, long strips are
being modelled
molded into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodle
discs.

Moving
further
,
subsequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodles
are cooked
in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
oil under the heating and then, it
is dried
next
these dried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noodles
together mixed with vegetables and spices in
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a cup" or simply "cups"?
a cups
.
Eventually
, these cups are
being labelled
, and sealed for shipping in a supermarket for selling.
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IELTS academic The diagram gives information about manyfacturing of noodles?

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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