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The diagram demonstrates life cycle

The diagram demonstrates life cycle 3YBkd
The diagram demonstrates life cycle of a creature of big fish called salmon. Salmon has a unique and long life cycle. The long journey started with eggs which lay on small stones below the reeds. Eggs placed in upper river which has slow moving stream in order to keep the eggs safe from any frictions. After about five until six months, the eggs will hatch into fry or baby salmon which has 3 until 8 cm long. For more less four years, fry lived in the fast flowing river, fry grows into smolt which size is longer and bigger body and can reach 12 until 15 cm long. Smolt will move from lower river to swim to the open sea and live there around 5 years. Afterwards 5 years, smolt can be called an adult salmon. The differences of smolt and adult salmon is in the body size and capability of produce eggs. In the end, an adult salmon can reach up to 70 until 76 centimeter long and will lay their eggs back in the upper river. Task 2 Museum is one of the tourist destination which has historical value. Some museums charge for entrance ticket, but others are free. The charge of entrance can be used for enlarge and develop new features and facilities of the museums, but in the other side it can be inconvenience factor for the tourist if they come in a big group of people. One source of income of museums comes from ticketing. Earn money from the tourists with a normal charge for non-government and public museum is used for pay the workers, development and renovation of the building and objects inside. For example, Sonobudoyo Museum which located near the Sultan Palace of Yogyakarta. This museum charge Rp3. 000, - per person and open Tuesday to Sunday. In my experience, it was so much worth the price and quite inexpensive to add some of adventure moment in my life. The buildings and object exhibit in museums are so authentic and beautiful, even I tried to play Saron instrument. However, for domestic and foreign tourists which come in a big amount of the people, fee of the ticket will make them think twice, they might choose free public museum to visit rather than the charge one. It can be variable of the lower visitation of tourism. The lower visitation can influence the popularity of the museum which has side effect for the museum. For instance, one private museum in Yogyakarta called Mata Museum in the beginning the popularity was high, until the charge increase and make the tourists run to public which has affordable ticket. In conclusion, affordable charge ticket can be advantage to open up the new facilities and support the workers in the museums. I believe tourist will choose convenience instead of free charge but in limited facility.
The diagram demonstrates life cycle of a creature of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fish called salmon.

Salmon has a unique and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
life cycle. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
journey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with eggs which lay on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones below the reeds. Eggs placed in upper river which has slow moving stream in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the eggs safe from any frictions. After about five until six months, the eggs will hatch into fry or baby salmon which has 3 until 8 cm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
. For
Use only "less" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more less
four years, fry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
flowing river, fry grows into
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolt
which size is longer and bigger body and can reach 12 until 15 cm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Smolt
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from lower river to swim to the open sea and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there around 5 years. Afterwards 5 years,
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolt
can
be called
an adult salmon. The differences of
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolt
and adult salmon is in the body size and capability of produce eggs. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, an adult salmon can reach up to 70 until 76 centimeter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
and will lay their eggs back in the upper river.

Task
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
2 Museum
is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destination which has historical value.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charge
for entrance ticket,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others are free. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charge
of entrance can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for enlarge and develop new features and facilities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the other side it can be inconvenience factor for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

One source of income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from ticketing. Earn money from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
with a normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charge
for non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for pay the workers, development and renovation of the building and objects inside.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sonobudoyo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
which located near the Sultan Palace of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yogyakarta
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charge
Rp3. 000,
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
per person and open Tuesday to Sunday. In my experience, it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much worth the price and quite inexpensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
Consider using "some adventure" or "some of the adventure".
some of adventure
moment in my life. The buildings and object exhibit in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
authentic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, even I tried to play
Possible spelling mistake found.
Saron
instrument.

However
, for domestic and foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, fee of the ticket will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice, they might choose free public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
to visit
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charge
one. It can be variable of the lower visitation of tourism. The lower visitation can influence the popularity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
which has side effect for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.
For instance
, one private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yogyakarta
called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mata
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
in the beginning the popularity was high, until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charge
increase and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
run to public which has affordable ticket.

In conclusion
, affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charge
ticket can be advantage to open up the new facilities and support the workers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
will choose convenience
instead
of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in limited facility.
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IELTS academic The diagram demonstrates life cycle

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
476 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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