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Task 1- graph showing number of marriages in Australia between 1960 and 2000

Task 1- graph showing number of marriages in Australia between 1960 and 2000 mbj1O
The bar graph depicts data regarding the types of marriage(religious and civil) as well as the average age of the bride and bridegroom in Australia between the years 1960 and 2000. Overall there has been an increase in the number of civil marriages while the number of religious marriages shows a steady decline. The average age of both the partners has also steadily increased over the 4 decades. The number of religious cremeonies dropped from 5 in the year 1960 to 3 in 1970. Subsequntly it increased to 4 in 1980 after which it declined to 1 in the year 2000. The number of civil marriages on the otherhand consistently rose from 5 in 1960 to 20 in 2000. The average age of both the bride as well as bridegroom steadily increased between 1960 and 2000 with the average age of the bride increasing from 20 in 1960 to 30 in 2000. The average age of the groom also increased from 30 in 1960 to 40 in 2000.
The bar graph depicts data regarding the types of marriage(religious and civil)
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of the bride and bridegroom in Australia between the years 1960 and 2000.

Overall
there has been an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of civil marriages while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of religious marriages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a steady decline. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of both the partners has
also
steadily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
over the 4 decades.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of religious
Possible spelling mistake found.
cremeonies
dropped from 5 in the year 1960 to 3 in 1970.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Subsequntly
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
to 4 in 1980 after which it declined to 1 in the year 2000. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of civil marriages on the
Possible spelling mistake found.
otherhand
consistently
rose from 5 in 1960 to 20 in 2000. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of both the bride
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
bridegroom
steadily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
between 1960 and 2000 with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of the bride increasing from 20 in 1960 to 30 in 2000.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of the groom
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
from 30 in 1960 to 40 in 2000.

IELTS academic Task 1- graph showing number of marriages in Australia between 1960 and 2000

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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