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The diagram below shows time spent watching tv by age and gender in the UK in 1995 and 1999

The diagram below shows time spent watching tv by age and gender in the UK in 1995 and 1999 2Yrj
The pictorial representation unearths the comparison of hours spent by men and women of different age group watching TV in 1995 and 1999 in the United kingdom. Overall, the graph depicts that the time spent watching television was higher as the age progresses. It also reveals that women spent more time watching television in 1999. It is seen from the chart that both males and females between 4 and 15 years watched the television for around 17 hours in 1995 and in 1999. In the case of 16vto 24 year old, no significant change was seen in males as that stood around 17 hours but females showed a rise from 21 hours to 23 hours. In addition, the age groups of 25-34 and 35-44 also showed a similar pattern where only women viewers spent more hours watching television. However, noticeable change were seen in 55 64 age groups. Men spent 27 hours but women spent 31 and 32 hours in 1995 and 1999 respectively. Lastly, men above 65 watched television for 3 hours more in 1999 from 33 the figure went to 36. However, women watched television for around 36 hours in both years.
The pictorial representation unearths the comparison of
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hours
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spent
by
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men
and
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women
of
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different
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age
group watching TV in 1995 and 1999 in the
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
United kingdom
.

Overall
, the graph depicts that the time
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spent
watching
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television
was higher as the
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age
progresses. It
also
reveals that
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women
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spent
more time watching
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television
in 1999.

It is
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seen
from the chart that both males and females between 4 and 15 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
the
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television
for around 17
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hours
in 1995 and in 1999. In the case of 16vto 24 year
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old
, no significant
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change
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in males as that stood around 17
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hours
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but
females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a rise from 21
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hours
to 23 hours.

In addition
, the
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age
groups of 25-34 and 35-44
also
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showed
a similar pattern where
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only
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women
viewers
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spent
more
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hours
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
However
, noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in 55 64
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age
groups.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
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spent
27
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hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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women
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spent
31 and 32
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hours
in 1995 and 1999
respectively
.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
above 65
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for 3
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hours
more in 1999 from 33 the figure went to 36.
However
,
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women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for around 36
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in both years.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows time spent watching tv by age and gender in the UK in 1995 and 1999

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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