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The diagram below shows the tiny town of Headly village eventually merging with Fonton city from the period 1925 to 1975 till now.

The diagram below shows the tiny town of Headly village eventually merging with Fonton city from the period 1925 to 1975 till now. 2dNb
The provided three maps of 1925, 1975 and today illustrate how the small village Headly was merged with Fonton metro in this long time period. In 1925, Headly village was located at western part while Fonton in eastern part. There was a road passing through Headly which started at south-west and finisbed at north-east. Whereas, a railway track passed through Fonton town. Over a period of the 50 years, significant changes occurred. There was a noticeable expansion of Fonton in western part. The highway was constructed which connects the both places. Housing estate and leisure center were built on northern side of highway while local shops in southern part of highway. In present time, Headly has became suburb and mixed with Fonton. Local shops are replaced by the supermarket. Railway station has been built in middle of both the towns. Business park is also constructed in front of the railway station. While hotel is built in northern side of railway station. Overall, Headly village has been completely transformed in small town and merged with Fonton city in between 1925 and today.
The provided three maps of 1925, 1975 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
illustrate how the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
village
Possible spelling mistake found.
Headly
was merged
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fonton
metro in this long time period.

In 1925,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Headly
village
was located
at western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
while
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fonton
in eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
. There was a road passing through
Possible spelling mistake found.
Headly
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at south-west and
Possible spelling mistake found.
finisbed
at north-east.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, a
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railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
passed through
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fonton
town.

Over a period of the 50 years, significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
occurred. There was a noticeable expansion of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fonton
in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
. The highway
was constructed
which connects the both places. Housing estate and leisure center
were built
on northern side of highway while local shops in southern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of highway.

In present time,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Headly
has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
suburb and mixed with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fonton
. Local shops
are replaced
by the supermarket.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railway
station has
been built
in middle of both the towns. Business park is
also
constructed in front of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
station.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
hotel
is built
in northern side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
station.

Overall
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Headly
village has been completely transformed in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town and merged with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fonton
city in between 1925 and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the tiny town of Headly village eventually merging with Fonton city from the period 1925 to 1975 till now.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
181 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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