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The diagram below shows the stages in a recycling of aluminium drinking cans

The diagram below shows the stages in a recycling of aluminium drinking cans RX98
The diagram depicts how aluminium cans are recycled in different stages. overall the process of recycling aluminium cans is man-made. This is cyclic process in which there are 7 steps. The process starts with collection of aluminium cans. In the firat stage of recycling aluminium cans, used aluminium cans and steel cans are collected from Garbage. as soon as collection finishes, they are sorted in a two different boxes, one is aluminium and second Is Steel. Then it is transported with the help of van to recycling centre. In the centre, cans are crushed in a one cube after that they are ready for melting down. Old Aluminium is melted at high temperature. Melted aluminium converted into bar shape. Before being made of cans, bar is formed into aluminium roll. After completing process, aluminium cans ready to use for filling up beverages with the help of drinking machines. After that the whole process is repeated all over again
The diagram depicts how
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
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cans
are recycled
in
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different
stages.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
the
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process
of recycling
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aluminium
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cans
is
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man
-made. This is cyclic
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process
in which there are 7 steps. The
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process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with collection of
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aluminium
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cans
. In the
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firat
stage of recycling
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
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cans
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
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cans
and steel
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cans
are collected
from Garbage.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as collection finishes, they
are sorted
in a two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
boxes, one is
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
and second Is Steel. Then it
is transported
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of van to recycling
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centre
. In the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
,
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cans
are crushed
in a one cube after that they are ready for melting down.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
Possible spelling mistake. 'Aluminium' is British English.
Aluminium
is melted
at high temperature. Melted
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
converted into bar shape.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
being made
of
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cans
, bar
is formed
into
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
roll. After completing
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process
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'aluminium' is British English.
aluminium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cans
ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for filling up beverages with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of drinking machines.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the whole
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process
is repeated
all over
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
again
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the stages in a recycling of aluminium drinking cans

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
157 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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