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Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed.

Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. gwk1
The picture illustrates some suggested sites for constructing commercial area in the city of Brandfield. There are two proposed sites namely S1 and S2 for upcoming shopping mall, which will be located in the north and south east of map respectively. On top of that, there is a main road runs through the city and is close to both potential sites, thus providing good road access to either location. The first possible layout of S1 is to the north of city centre, above the railway line, running from south east of the city to north west. If it is constructed there, it will be next to residential area thereby providing easy access for those living in the estate and the city centre. Whilst, S2 will also be surrounded by railway line in the left and main road opposite to railway. However, it will be near to industrail estate rather than housing, which will take a little bit longer to reach shopping mall.
The picture illustrates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggested sites for constructing commercial area in the city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Brandfield
.

There are two proposed sites
namely
S1 and S2 for upcoming shopping mall, which will
be located
in the north and
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south east
of map
respectively
.
On top of that
, there is a main road runs through the city and is close to both potential sites,
thus
providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
road access to either location.

The
first
possible layout of S1 is to the north of city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, above the railway line, running from
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south east
of the city to
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north west
. If it
is constructed
there, it will be
next
to residential area thereby providing easy access for those living in the estate and the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.

Whilst, S2 will
also
be surrounded
by railway line in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
and main road opposite to railway.
However
, it will be near to
Possible spelling mistake found.
industrail
estate
rather
than housing, which will take a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
longer to reach shopping mall.

IELTS academic Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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