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The diagram below shows the stages and equipments in the Cement making process cement is used to make concrete.

The diagram below shows the stages and equipments in the Cement making process cement is used to make concrete. x2Xrw
The provided diagram illustrates different steps by which cement is made and how is then used in the process of making concrete. It is clear that for production of cement, limestone and clay had to pass four different phases which include a number of tools for processing. On the other hand, concrete making is much easier process consist mixture of three other Clement. The first stage of making cement started with crushing lime stone and clay into a crusher. After crushing the both item then turns into a powder from. in the following stages, The power combined into a mixer and placed into a rotating heater to heat the mixer. Then, a grinder grind it well and finally processed cement is stored in a bag. On the contrary, The second diagram of Concrete production include four ingredients. The prime element of concrete production is gravel which means small pieces of stone and in a mixer 50% gravel in needed. afterwards sand, cement and water placed in a selective amount of 25%, 15%, 10% respectively. By mixing the four amount in a mixer concrete is finally became ready for use.
The provided diagram illustrates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
steps by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is made
and how is then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the process of making concrete. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that for production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
, limestone and clay had to pass four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
phases which include a number of tools for processing.
On the other hand
, concrete making is much easier process consist mixture of three other Clement. The
first
stage of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with crushing lime stone and clay into a crusher. After crushing the both item then turns into a powder from.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the following stages, The power combined into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
and placed into a rotating heater to heat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
. Then, a grinder grind it well and
finally
processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is stored
in a bag.
On the contrary
, The second diagram of Concrete production include four ingredients. The prime element of concrete production is gravel which means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
pieces of stone and in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
50% gravel in needed.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
afterwards
sand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and water placed in a selective amount of 25%, 15%, 10%
respectively
. By mixing the four amount in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mixer
concrete is
finally
Consider using a past participle here: "become".
became
ready for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the stages and equipments in the Cement making process cement is used to make concrete.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
189 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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