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The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. v.2

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. v. 2
The given three pie charts depict the amount spent by a school in the UK annually for the years 1981, 1991 and 2001. As is observed from the pie charts, teachers’ salaries accounted for the highest percentage for both the years and insurance had the smallest proportion of money spent by the UK school in both three selected years. In 1981, 40% of the total school spending was used for teachers’ salaries and it has increased to 50% of the total amount in 1991. In 2001, the percentage dropped a little, which was 45% which was 5% higher than that in 1981. The money spent on other workers’ salaries decreased gradually from 1981 to 2001. It was initially 28% in 1981, declined to 22% in 1991 and eventually dropped to 15% in 2001. The spending on furniture and equipment and resources such as books were the same in 1981, which was 15% of the total amount. Whereas in 1991, more money spent on resources than furniture and equipment, 20% and 5% respectively, but the reverse is true for the year 2001. 23% of the spending was for the purpose of buying furniture and equipment and only 9% of the amount for the resources like books. Starting from the year 1981 to 2001, the amount spent on insurance increased steadily. Only a small proportion of money allocated for insurance in 1981, which was 2 %, increased to 3% in 1991 and 8% in 2001.
The
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given
three pie charts depict the
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amount
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spent
by a school in the UK
annually
for the years 1981, 1991 and 2001.

As
is observed
from the pie charts, teachers’ salaries accounted for the highest percentage for both the years and insurance had the smallest proportion of
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money
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spent
by the UK school in both three selected years.

In 1981, 40% of the total school spending was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for teachers’ salaries and it has increased to 50% of the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
in 1991. In 2001, the percentage dropped a
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little
, which was 45% which was 5% higher than that in 1981. The
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money
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spent
on other workers’ salaries decreased
gradually
from 1981 to 2001. It was
initially
28% in 1981, declined to 22% in 1991 and
eventually
dropped to 15% in 2001.

The spending on furniture and equipment and resources such as books were the same in 1981, which was 15% of the total
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amount
. Whereas in 1991, more
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money
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spent
on resources than furniture and equipment, 20% and 5%
respectively
,
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but
the reverse is true for the
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year
2001. 23% of the spending was for the purpose of buying furniture and equipment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
9% of the
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amount
for the resources like books. Starting from the
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year
1981 to 2001, the
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amount
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on insurance increased
steadily
.
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Only
a
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small
proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
allocated for insurance in 1981, which was 2 %, increased to 3% in 1991 and 8% in 2001.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS academic The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
243 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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