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the diagram below shows the production of cement.

the diagram below shows the production of cement. 7Wdl2
The pictorial diagram illustrates the procedure of cement making. All in all, Production of cement involved a long procedure, where extraction of limestone from the limestone quarry is one of the most important and time and energy consuming step, as it requires lots of machinery and transportation. Firstly, the limestone is extracted from the limestone quarry and transported to the conveyor belt, where it is crushed by the crusher, followed by the process of re-crushing the limestone into more simpler ground limestone into the secondary crusher. Then the limestone powder is shifted to the proportioning equipment, which divides the sand and clay in equal proportion. secondly, the formed product is then transfered to the grinding mill through which it is moved to the preheater tower, in the preheater the clay is heated at a very high temperature, moved to the kiln. After going through the clinker cooler the substance it passed on to the proportioning equipment, forming gypsum and the gypsum is then heated to form pure cement. After the complete procedure the cement is packed in bags and kept in the cement storage house from where it is shipped to different locations
The pictorial diagram illustrates the procedure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
making.

All in all, Production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
involved a long procedure, where extraction of limestone from the limestone quarry is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and time and energy consuming step, as it requires lots of machinery and transportation.

Firstly
, the limestone
is extracted
from the limestone quarry and transported to the conveyor belt, where it
is crushed
by the crusher, followed by the process of re-crushing the limestone into
Use only "simpler" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more simpler
ground limestone into the secondary crusher. Then the limestone powder
is shifted
to the proportioning equipment, which divides the sand and clay in equal proportion.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, the formed product is then
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "transferred", the past tense form of the verb 'transfer'?
transfered
to the grinding mill through which it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the preheater tower, in the preheater the clay
is heated
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high temperature,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the kiln. After going through the clinker cooler the substance it passed on to the proportioning equipment, forming gypsum and the gypsum is then heated to form pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
. After the complete procedure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
is packed
in bags and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
storage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
from where it
is shipped
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
locations
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IELTS academic the diagram below shows the production of cement.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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