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writing task 1 . unfortunately I can't upload the chart

writing task 1. unfortunately I can't upload the chart ELxQQ
The graph below illustrates the percentage change in the number of international students graduating from universities in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. According to the chart the number of international graduates rose in all the Canadian provinces in 2006 comparing to the year 2001 except for Alberta with a decline of one percent. British Columbia had the most significant growth during the 5 years which was 6%. However it can be seen that New Brunswick had been the province that the greatest number of international students graduated from. A more detailed look at the graph reveals that there were similar trends for overall growth in number of students in Manitoba, Newfoundland & Labrador and Ontario. Overall, the number of international students graduating clearly increased over this period.
The graph below illustrates the percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
graduating from universities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006.

According to the chart the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
graduates rose in all the Canadian provinces in 2006 comparing to the year 2001
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Alberta with a decline of one percent.

British Columbia had the most significant growth during the 5 years which was 6%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that New Brunswick had been the province that the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
graduated from.

A more detailed look at the graph reveals that there were similar trends for
overall
growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Manitoba, Newfoundland & Labrador and Ontario.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
graduating
clearly
increased over this period.
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IELTS academic writing task 1. unfortunately I can't upload the chart

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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