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The diagram below shows the process of making soft cheese. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the process of making soft cheese. K7G1
The flowchart illustrates the steps involved in the soft cheese production process. Overall it is clear that, there are five steps involved in the cheese production started with mixing of raw materials to filtering of soft cheese from cooling machine. The process begins with the mixing of raw materials such as water and milk. In the next step, the mixed milk cools in a cooling machine with 5℃/2 hours. After that, the cool milk passes through fragmentation process along with adding some soft and heat in 35℃/2 hours temperature. The second last stage of soft cheese production involves evaporation of the fragmented milk in 100℃/ 8 hours and the steam produces to the air. The last stage is cooling the liquid to a thick liquid through mixing process in the temperature 5℃/8 hours and then filter the soft cheese and waste water separately.
The flowchart illustrates the steps involved in the
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soft
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cheese
production
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process
.
Overall
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, there are five steps involved in the
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cheese
production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with mixing of raw materials to filtering of
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soft
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cheese
from cooling machine. The
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process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with the mixing of raw materials such as water and
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milk
. In the
next
step, the mixed
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milk
cools in a cooling machine with 5℃/2
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hours
. After that, the cool
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milk
passes through fragmentation
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process
along with adding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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soft
and heat in 35℃/2
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hours
temperature. The second last stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheese
production involves evaporation of the fragmented
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milk
in 100℃/ 8
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hours
and the steam produces to the air. The last stage is cooling the liquid to a thick liquid through mixing
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process
in the temperature 5℃/8
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hours
and then filter the
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soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cheese
and waste water
separately
.

IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process of making soft cheese.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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