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The bar chart below shows hours per week that teenager spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007

The bar chart below shows hours per week that teenager spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007 GBrQ
The graphical representation of the chart depicts various tasks teenagers engage themselves in over the period of five years. As the Media and television industry took a boom, it attracted major part of youth gradually from the year 2002. Due to the distractions caused by the Pubs, television it is believed that teenagers contributed less than quarter of the average hours in doing the assignments. The growth of technology proved to be a disadvantage for sports, bowling and other physical activities; Gradually over the five years it is seen that teenagers indulge themselves less in sports. Having the highest average hours being spent on watching TV, resulted in least average hours spent on sports. Adding to it, it also led the teenagers spend less portion of time on watching DVDs, as more attention was drawn towards TV and Shopping. Overall, it is observed that the youth of 2007 is more likely to take up tasks involving Clubs, shopping, media rather than sports, bowling or watching DVDs.
The graphical representation of the chart depicts various tasks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
engage themselves in over the period of five years.

As the Media and television industry took a boom, it attracted major part of youth
gradually
from the year 2002. Due to the distractions caused by the Pubs, television it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
contributed less than quarter of the average hours in doing the assignments.

The growth of technology proved to be a disadvantage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, bowling and other physical activities;
Gradually
over the five years it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
indulge themselves less in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Having the highest average hours
being spent
on watching TV, resulted in
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
average hours spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Adding to it, it
also
led the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
spend less portion of time on watching DVDs, as more attention
was drawn
towards TV and Shopping.

Overall
, it
is observed
that the youth of 2007 is more likely to take up tasks involving Clubs, shopping, media
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, bowling or watching DVDs.
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IELTS academic The bar chart below shows hours per week that teenager spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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