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The diagram below shows the new bottles are made from waste materials.

The diagram below shows the new bottles are made from waste materials. 1nPGX
A glance at the diagram reveals that how old glass bottles are recycled and made new bottles. From the overall assessment, it immensely clear that the process entails seven steps initiating with the collected waste material from the public, and ends with made new bottles. The process begins with the collecting of glass bottles from public. In next step, these bottles are transported by a car in processing plants where separated the plastic and metal caps. In fourth step, glasses broken down. Before the penultimate stage these broken glass are transported by a car to glass factory. After that, in glass factory where there is a furnace in which glass and other raw materials are mixed and heated at 1200 degree C. In the final step, the melted mixture is used to make new bottles in glass factory. Thus, through a proper process bottles are made from the waste bottles.
A glance at the diagram reveals that how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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glass
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bottles
are recycled
and made new bottles.

From the
overall
assessment, it
immensely
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clear
that the process entails seven
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steps
initiating with the collected waste material from the public, and ends with made new bottles.

The process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with the collecting of
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glass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bottles
from public. In
next
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step
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bottles
are transported
by a car in processing plants where separated the plastic and metal caps. In fourth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, glasses broken down.
“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
the penultimate stage these broken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
are transported
by a car to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
factory. After that, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
factory where there is a furnace in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
and other raw materials
are mixed
and heated at 1200 degree C. In the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, the melted mixture is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bottles
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
factory.

Thus
, through a proper process
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bottles
are made
from the waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bottles
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the new bottles are made from waste materials.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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