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The diagram below shows comparison of literacy rates of males and females in 1990 and in 2000 in six states of a country.

The given bar chart provides the information about the educational rate between men and women in year 1990 and 2000 within six different states. According to graph that State A shows 5% of growth in both males and females, 45% to 50% and 25% to 30% respectively. Whereas, State B shows highest literacy ratio where every 9th out of 10th person were literate in 2000 compared to 1990. 85% of men and 70% women were literate in state C in 1990, which rises up to 90% and 80% respectively in 2000. State D growth rate were 58% to 70% in males and 32% to 43% in females. Next is state E growth rates were increase 3% in male and 12% in female. State F where lowers female rate were experienced 28% and 54% in male in 2000.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart provides the information about the educational
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rate
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in year 1990 and 2000 within six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
states.

According to graph that
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State
A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
5% of growth in both
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males
and
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females
, 45% to 50% and 25% to 30%
respectively
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
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State
B
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
A determiner is probably missing here: “the highest”.
highest
literacy ratio where every 9th out of 10th person were literate in 2000 compared to 1990. 85% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and 70% women were literate in
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state
C in 1990, which rises up to 90% and 80%
respectively
in
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2000. State
D growth
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rate
were 58% to 70% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and 32% to 43% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
Next
is
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state
E growth
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rates
were increase 3% in male and 12% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
State
F where lowers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
were experienced
28% and 54% in male in 2000.

IELTS academic The diagram below shows comparison of literacy rates of males and females in 1990 and in 2000 in six states of a country.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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