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This graph compares the population aged 65 years or more in 3 different nations.

This graph compares the population aged 65 years or more in 3 different nations. It is quite interesting how population of the old has increased exponentially over the past 70 years, and it is still expanding. Starting from 1940, Japan had the lowest percentage of old citizens i. e, 5%. On the other hand, Sweden stood next to Japan with a senior population of almost 7%, while the USA stood first with aged population ranging from 9-10%. Over the past 70 years, the population of the old initially decreased in Japan till early 2000's. Afterwards, it started increasing, and it now ranges from 8-9%. It is believed that the population of the aged will suddenly expand to 25% after 2030. In contrast, the old age population of the other 2 countries kept on increasing continuously. In 2000 AD, the aged population sore to nearly 14% and 15% in the USA and Sweden respectively. The USA has maitained the proportion of the old at 15% till today. On the contrary, this number has increased to nearly 17-18% in Sweden. Anyways, any old age population boom is not expected in these 2 countries as it is expected in China.
This graph compares the
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population
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aged
65 years or more in 3
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different
nations. It is quite interesting how
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population
of the
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old
has increased
exponentially
over the past 70 years, and it is
still
expanding.

Starting from 1940, Japan had the lowest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
citizens i. e, 5%.
On the other hand
, Sweden stood
next
to Japan with a senior
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population
of almost 7%, while the USA stood
first
with
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aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
ranging from 9-10%.

Over the past 70 years, the
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population
of the
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old
initially
decreased in Japan till early
Apostrophes aren’t needed for decades: “2000s”.
2000's
. Afterwards, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
increasing, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
ranges from 8-9%. It
is believed
that the
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population
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
will
suddenly
expand to 25% after 2030.
In contrast
, the
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old
age
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population
of the other 2 countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on increasing
continuously
. In 2000 AD, the
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aged
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population
sore to
nearly
14% and 15% in the USA and Sweden
respectively
. The USA has
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maitained
the proportion of the
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old
at 15% till
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today
.
On the contrary
, this number has increased to
nearly
17-18% in Sweden. Anyways, any
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old
age
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population
boom is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
in these 2 countries as it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
in China.
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IELTS academic This graph compares the population aged 65 years or more in 3 different nations.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
197 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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