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The diagram below show the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years. The evolution of the horse, with particular emphasis on the changing foot structure.

The diagram below show the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years. The evolution of the horse, with particular emphasis on the changing foot structure. BlRPw
The pictures displays about the horse's evolution from 40 million years ago up to the present, giving specific attention to the foot structure. The first of the kind of the horse species is called Eohippus which appeared 40 million years ago. Its foot had five toenails. After 10 million years since its appearance, came Mesohippus. Its foot structure had three toenails. Then Merychippus came into existence 15 million years after. Noticeable changes on the body parts are the tail, mane and flank. Its foot structure also had three toenails and the middle one seemed to be the largest and longest than those side by side. Modern day horses as what people have now in the green pastures are way bigger than those that existed before time. The tail, flank and mane are all in shape and so are prominent. As to its foot, it composed a big, bold, single structure that carries the weight of the animal. It is connected to the long bone by two small bone structures. It is clear how the horse species have evolved and its foot structures from million years ago.
The pictures
You should probably use "display".
displays
about the horse's evolution from 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years ago up to the present, giving specific attention to the foot structure.

The
first
of the kind of the horse species
is called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eohippus
which appeared 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years ago. Its foot had five toenails. After 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years since its appearance, came
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mesohippus
. Its foot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
had three toenails.

Then
Possible spelling mistake found.
Merychippus
came into existence 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years after. Noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
on the body parts are the tail, mane and flank. Its foot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
also
had three toenails and the middle one seemed to be the largest and
Use "longer" to make a comparison with this adjective.
longest
than those side by side.

Modern day horses as what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in the green pastures are way bigger than those that existed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
time. The tail, flank and mane are all in shape and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
are prominent. As to its foot, it composed a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
, bold, single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
that carries the weight of the animal. It
is connected
to the long bone by two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
bone structures.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
how the horse species have evolved and its foot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
from
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
years ago.
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IELTS academic The diagram below show the development of the horse over a period of 40 million years. The evolution of the horse, with particular emphasis on the changing foot structure.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
186 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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