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THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOW THE CAHNGE THAT HAVE TAKEN PLACE AT WEST AORK SECNDARY SCHOOL SINCE ITS CONTRUCTION IN 1950.

THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOW THE CAHNGE THAT HAVE TAKEN PLACE AT WEST AORK SECNDARY SCHOOL SINCE ITS CONTRUCTION IN 1950. eEgkB
THE PROVIDED MAPS ILLUSTRATES THE SUBSTITUTE OCCURS AT WEST PARK SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN SIXTY YEARS BY DIFFERENT YEARS (1950, 1980 AND 2010). OVERALL THE HOUSES IN FIRST PERIOD IS DEMOLISHED WHEREAS, THE CAR PARK IS INTRODUCED IAFTER 30 YEARS AND EXPANDED IN FINAL TERM. IT CAN BE CLEARLY SEEN THAT, THE WEST PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL EXPERIENCED A CONSTRUCTIVE DEVELOPMENT TILL 2010. THE MAIN ROADS IN NORTH SIDE REMAINS THE CONSTANT IN EVERY GIVEN PERIOD, THE HOUSES IN WEST SIDE OF MAP IS DECOSNTRUCTED IN 1980, WHICH IS REPLACED BY CAR PARK AND SCIENCE BLOCK EQUALLY, MOREOVER, IN SOUTH WEST SIDE THE FARMLAND IN FORMER MAP RENAMED AS SPORTS FIELD AND SHRINKS IN LATTER YEARS MAP. THE CAR EXPANDS DRASCTICALLY FROM 1980 TO 2010. THE SIZE OF PLAYGROUND CONTRACTS IN 2010.
THE PROVIDED
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MAPS
You should probably use "illustrate".
ILLUSTRATES
THE SUBSTITUTE OCCURS AT WEST
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PARK
SECONDARY SCHOOLS IN SIXTY YEARS BY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
DIFFERENT
YEARS (1950, 1980 AND 2010).

OVERALL
THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HOUSES
IN
FIRST
PERIOD
IS DEMOLISHED
WHEREAS, THE CAR
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PARK
IS INTRODUCED
Possible spelling mistake found.
IAFTER
30 YEARS AND EXPANDED IN FINAL TERM.

IT CAN BE
CLEARLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
THAT, THE WEST
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PARK
SECONDARY SCHOOL EXPERIENCED A CONSTRUCTIVE DEVELOPMENT TILL 2010. THE MAIN ROADS IN NORTH SIDE REMAINS THE CONSTANT IN EVERY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
PERIOD, THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HOUSES
IN WEST SIDE OF
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MAP
IS
Possible spelling mistake found.
DECOSNTRUCTED
IN 1980, WHICH
IS REPLACED
BY CAR
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PARK
AND SCIENCE BLOCK
EQUALLY
,

MOREOVER
, IN SOUTH WEST SIDE THE FARMLAND IN FORMER
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MAP
RENAMED AS SPORTS FIELD AND SHRINKS IN LATTER YEARS
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MAP
. THE CAR EXPANDS
Possible spelling mistake found.
DRASCTICALLY
FROM 1980 TO 2010. THE SIZE OF PLAYGROUND CONTRACTS IN 2010.
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IELTS academic THE DIAGRAM BELOW SHOW THE CAHNGE THAT HAVE TAKEN PLACE AT WEST AORK SECNDARY SCHOOL SINCE ITS CONTRUCTION IN 1950.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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