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the diagram below how fruit is canned

the diagram below how fruit is canned pLBjw
The graphic depicts how people produce canned pears from pear. Overall, there are a number of steps in the process which begins by picking pear and finishes by despatching final goods to sell in supermarkets or markets. Looking at the picture in more detail, in the first step, workers gather pears and then they tranfer them by truck to the factory. After that, pears are washed with water and check their quality to remove damaged ones. In the next step, people put quality pears into cold storage to prepare the production process. Followed by the process which produces pears canned, pears are weighed by a machine. After that people peel and core pears then, the material which remained after sliced, is packed in cans. Let’s see the next step, canned pears are sealed and sterilized on high temperature for a time. After cooking pears, people make labels to paste on cans then, they save cans in storage. Finally, canned pears are dispatched to supermarkets or markets to sell for customers.
The graphic depicts how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canned
pears from pear.
Overall
, there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
in the process which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
by picking pear and finishes by despatching final
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to sell in supermarkets or markets.

Looking at the picture in more detail, in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, workers gather
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pears and
then they
Possible spelling mistake found.
tranfer
them by truck to the factory. After that, pears
are washed
with water and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their quality to remove damaged ones. In the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
put quality pears into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
storage to prepare the production process.

Followed by the process which produces pears
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canned
, pears
are weighed
by a machine. After that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
peel and core pears then, the material which remained after sliced,
is packed
in cans.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canned
pears
are sealed
and sterilized on high temperature for a time. After cooking pears,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
labels to paste on cans then, they save cans in storage.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
canned
pears are
Do not mix variants of the same word ('dispatch' and 'despatch') within a single text.
dispatched
to supermarkets or markets to sell for customers.
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IELTS academic the diagram below how fruit is canned

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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