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Given are two line graphs providing with the information about the number of household using devices (i.e. washing machine, refrigerator, vacuum cleaner) powered by electricity and amount of time family members spend during the week doing chores for the period of time of approximately a century, 1920 – 2019, respectively.

Given are two line graphs providing with the information about the number of household using devices (i. e. washing machine, refrigerator, vacuum cleaner) powered by electricity and amount of time family members spend during the week doing chores for the period of time of approximately a century, 1920 – 2019, respectively. r1NY2
Given are two line graphs providing with the information about the number of household using devices (i. e. washing machine, refrigerator, vacuum cleaner) powered by electricity and amount of time family members spend during the week doing chores for the period of time of approximately a century, 1920 – 2019, respectively. Overall, number of people using electrical appliances increased over the period of time, while the amount of time spent on housework saw a significant decrease. Turning to the statistics of electrical equipment it can be clearly seen that at the beginning of the period refrigerator was the least popular device and almost none people used it, however, the trend saw a steady improvement and by 1980 it reached its peak of 100% and kept stability till the end of the period sharing top position with vacuum cleaner, which, in turns, was a little bit less popular than washing machine by 10%, 40% and 30%, respectively. In contrast washing machine was the first at the beginning, but despite the fact that it experienced a upward trend at the end of the period it became the least popular, reaching about three quarters of total number of households. When it comes to hours spent on chores, it experienced only a downward trend during the whole period of time. It started with 50 hours spent in 1920 and then by 1960 it rapidly decreased to 20 hours. Afterwards, there was a marginal decrease to 10 hours per week in 2019, reaching its very low point.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
two line graphs providing with the information about the number of household using devices (
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
washing machine, refrigerator, vacuum cleaner) powered by electricity and amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
family members spend during the week doing chores for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of approximately a century, 1920 – 2019,
respectively
.

Overall
, number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using electrical appliances increased over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, while the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on housework
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant decrease.

Turning to the statistics of electrical equipment it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that at the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
refrigerator was the least popular device and almost none
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it,
however
, the trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a steady improvement and by 1980 it reached its peak of 100% and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
stability till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
sharing top position with vacuum cleaner, which, in turns, was a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
less popular than washing machine by 10%, 40% and 30%,
respectively
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
contrast
washing machine was the
first
at the beginning,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
despite the fact that it experienced
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
upward trend at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
it became the least popular, reaching about three quarters of total number of households.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
spent on chores, it experienced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a downward trend during the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
spent in 1920 and then by 1960 it
rapidly
decreased to 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Afterwards, there was a marginal decrease to 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per week in 2019, reaching its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low point.
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IELTS academic Given are two line graphs providing with the information about the number of household using devices (i. e. washing machine, refrigerator, vacuum cleaner) powered by electricity and amount of time family members spend during the week doing chores for the period of time of approximately a century, 1920 – 2019, respectively.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Given are two line graphs providing with the information about the number of household using devices (i.e. washing machine, refrigerator, vacuum cleaner) powered by electricity and amount of time family members spend during the week doing chores for the period of time of approximately a century, 1920 – 2019, respectively.