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number of trips by student in a country in the year 1990 and 2010

number of trips by student in a country in the year 1990 and 2010 jd0Pa
The bar graph represents the number of trips made by children from home to school and vice-versa in the years 1990 and 2010. The calibrated data is in millions. Overall, the highest amount of people preferred walking over anything whereas, on the contrary, cycling was the least opted mode of transportation. In the year 1990, almost 12 million students walked to their school and back home which decreased to around two folds in the year 2010. Similarly, children which were using both walking and bus also declined three times from 6 million in 1990 to 2 million in 2010. Around 6 million students used to cycle to the school which declined three times to about 2 million in 2010. On the other hand, almost 4 million students traveled by car in 1990 which skyrocketed three folds to around 11 million trips in 2010.
The bar graph represents the number of trips made by children from home to school and vice-versa in the years 1990 and 2010. The calibrated data is in millions.

Overall
, the highest amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Use "to" with "prefer." You probably meant this: "preferred walking to anything".
preferred walking over anything
whereas,
on the contrary
, cycling was the least opted mode of transportation.

In the year 1990, almost 12
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million
students walked to their school and back home which decreased to around two folds in the year 2010.
Similarly
, children which were using both walking and bus
also
declined three times from 6
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million
in 1990 to 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2010.

Around 6
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million
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to cycle to the school which declined three times to about 2
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million
in 2010.
On the other hand
, almost 4
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million
students traveled by car in 1990 which skyrocketed three folds to around 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
trips in 2010.
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IELTS academic number of trips by student in a country in the year 1990 and 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 6.5
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