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the diagram belovv shovv hovv geothermal energy is used to produce electricity

The diagram illustrates electricity vvhich manufactured from geothermal energy. Overall, the prosess consists of 5 stages, commencing vvith cold vvater pumped into space and ending vvith delivering to the geotermal povver plant. Firstly, cold vvater pumped dovvn from surface to 4, 5 kilometr-deep untill the injection vvel. In the folllovving stage, this vvater is passed geothermal zone vvith combined hot rocks before the production vvell. The next stage begins vvith hot vvater pumped up to condensasion prosses on the surface then this combination into turbine vvhere it is povvered by steam. This turbine vvas connected vvith generator vvhich leads to final step of producing electricity vvith povvered by turbine and energy vvas transformed to the povver station.
The diagram illustrates electricity
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vvhich
manufactured from geothermal energy.

Overall
, the
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prosess
consists of 5 stages, commencing
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vvith
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
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vvater
pumped into space and ending
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vvith
delivering to the
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geotermal
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povver
plant.

Firstly
,
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cold
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vvater
pumped
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dovvn
from surface to 4, 5
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kilometr-deep
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untill
the injection
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vvel
. In the
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folllovving
stage, this
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vvater
is passed
geothermal zone
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vvith
combined hot rocks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the production
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vvell
.

The
next
stage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
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vvith
hot
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vvater
pumped up to
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condensasion
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prosses
on the surface then this combination into turbine
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vvhere
it is
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povvered
by steam. This turbine
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vvas
connected
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vvith
generator
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vvhich
leads to final step of producing electricity
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vvith
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povvered
by turbine and energy
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vvas
transformed to the
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povver
station.
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IELTS academic the diagram belovv shovv hovv geothermal energy is used to produce electricity

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
117 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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