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The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrated the number of men and women engaged in full time and partime education in three periods. Overall, it is evidently stated that most people, regardless of gender, are into part-time education in 1970 to 1990. In the latter period, you would see that women outnumbered men involved in part-time education. Clearly, the number of males and females who took full-time education have significantly increased over the years since 1970. However, as for those who got into part-time education, steady growth is only evident with females. Meanwhile, the number of men in part-time education have fluctuated from its all time high(in three periods) of 1000 in 1970 to about 850 in 1980/81. Apparently, females engaged in part time education have steadily increased over the years with more or less half a thousand gap in 1970 -1990. By 1980/81, women engaged in part-time education were over a thousand and hundred, while men were only one thousand.
The bar chart illustrated the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women engaged in full time and
Possible spelling mistake found.
partime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in three periods.

Overall
, it is
evidently
stated that most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, regardless of gender, are into part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in 1970 to 1990. In the latter period, you would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that women outnumbered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
involved in part-time education.

Clearly
, the number of males and females who took full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have
significantly
increased over the years since 1970.
However
, as for those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
into part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, steady growth is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
evident with females. Meanwhile, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have fluctuated from its
It appears that a hyphen is missing in the adjective “all-time”
all time
high(in three periods) of 1000 in 1970 to about 850 in 1980/81.

Apparently
, females engaged in
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
part time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have
steadily
increased over the years with more or less half a thousand gap in 1970 -1990. By 1980/81, women engaged in part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
were over a thousand and
Use “a hundred” or use a number before ‘hundred’.
hundred
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one thousand.

IELTS academic The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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