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the development of modern society leads to the loss of traditional ways of life. Do you agree or disagree?

the development of modern society leads to the loss of traditional ways of life. mWDL8
I only partly agree with the idea that the development of modern society is the loss of traditional ways of life. I have several arguments to support my opinion. First of all, there are number of traditions which i think that people must forget. For example: funeral repast. I hate this tradition because when someone dies people start thinking about: who should we invite at funeral repast? Or which foods will be on the table? And after this people get drunked and that's so anoying. This is so bad tradition. On the other hand, there are so many good traditions which it think that must be passed down from generation to generation. For example: we are hospitable people and we have good hospitality. We love guests, no matter where they are from or what religion they beleive in. And i think that it's a good tradition. These are the reasons why I only partly agree that the development of modern society leads to the loss of traditional ways of life.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the development of modern society is the loss of traditional ways of life. I have several arguments to support my opinion.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there are number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
which
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
forget.
For example
: funeral repast. I hate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking about: who should we invite at funeral repast? Or which foods will be on the table? And after this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
drunked
and that's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
anoying
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
.
On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
which it
Did you mean "thinks"?
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be passed
down from generation to generation.
For example
: we are hospitable
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
hospitality. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
guests, no matter where they are from or what religion they
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleive
in. And
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it's a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
. These are the reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the development of modern society leads to the loss of traditional ways of life.
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IELTS academic the development of modern society leads to the loss of traditional ways of life.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
170 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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