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the comparison of cofee and tea users in four weeks.

the comparison of cofee and tea users in four weeks. Xnyrr
The graph shows us the comparison of five cities of Austrailia in regards of their habbits of tea and cofee usage over a period of 4 weeks. Overall we can see that the percentage of people who chose to go out to a cafe is exceeding as compared to the usage of fresh and instant cofee and tea almost in all cities. However, in Adelaide the percentage of instant cofee consumers is slightly higher as than the cafe’s. The residents of Sydney, Hobart and Melboume seems to have often visits to the tea and cofee cafe with a percentage of slightly higher than 60%, while Melboume has the highest percentage of all with approximately 64%. On the other hand, Fresh cofee users in sydney and Melboume are almost same with percentage above 40. Hobart is at third number having percentage just below 40, while this proportion is same ( a little below 35) for Brisbaine and Adelaide. Futhermore, the trend of instant tea and cofee is more than the fresh but less than the cafe. In case of Sydney and Melboume the difference is not much as compared to fresh users with 45 and just below 50 %. On contrary to this the gap between the fresh and instant users for both drinks is is around 3 %.
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us the comparison of five cities of
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Austrailia
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards of
their
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habbits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
cofee
usage over a period of 4 weeks.

Overall
we can
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see
that the
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percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who chose to go out to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
is exceeding as compared to the usage of
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fresh
and instant
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cofee
and
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tea
almost in all cities.
However
, in Adelaide the
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percentage
of instant
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cofee
consumers is
slightly
higher
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
than the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
’s.

The residents of Sydney, Hobart and
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Melboume
seems to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
cofee
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
slightly
higher than 60%, while
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Melboume
has the highest
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percentage
of all with approximately 64%.

On the other hand
,
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Fresh
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cofee
users in
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sydney
and
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Melboume
are almost same with
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percentage
above 40. Hobart is at third number having
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percentage
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just
below 40, while this proportion is same
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
below 35) for
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Brisbaine
and Adelaide.

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Futhermore
, the trend of instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tea
and
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cofee
is more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
less than the
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
. In case of Sydney and
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Melboume
the difference is not much as compared to
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fresh
users with 45 and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 50 %. On contrary to this the gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
and instant users for both drinks
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
around 3 %.

IELTS academic the comparison of cofee and tea users in four weeks.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
218 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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