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we were given a table and a line graph describing the different age groups people who visited cinemas between 1996 and 2000 in Australia.

we were given a table and a line graph describing the different age groups people who visited cinemas between 1996 and 2000 in Australia. YBRYm
The table illustrates the percentage of population were visiting cinemas and the average annual visits to the cinemas, whereas the line graph elicits the percentage of different age of people who were visiting cinemas from 1996 to 2000 in Australia. It is evident that in 1996, 62% of people visited cinemas. There was increased to 72 percent in population visited in 1997 till 2000 except in 1999. The average yearly visits at 10. 3 by 1996. After a year, there was a slight surge in average visits. Between 1998 and 2000, the average annually visits from 8. 2 to 8. 3. Focusing on the line graph, it had same pattern for all different age of people who were visiting cinemas. 14-24 age of people who were going to the cinemas at 15 percentage, which was the highest than other age of people in 1996. After that, it fluctuated till the last year, and in this year, it reached at just below 20%. Furthermore, For 25 to 35 age group of people, who visited cinemas a minimal fall than 14-24 age people, this figure also fluctuated till 2000. More that 10% people, who age between 35-49, who were less interested for visiting cinemas. Moreover, 50 and more than 50 age of people, who were only 10 percent visited cinemas in the first year, and then all kind of age people followed similar pattern. Overall, it can be seen from the graph that there was escalating in the proportion population who were attending cinemas, while the average was declining. On the other hand, 14-24 age of people were incredible interested for visiting cinemas.
The table illustrates the percentage of population were visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
annual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
, whereas the line graph elicits the percentage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
from 1996 to 2000 in Australia. It is evident that in 1996, 62% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
. There
was increased
to 72 percent in population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
in 1997 till 2000 except in 1999. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
yearly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
at 10. 3 by 1996. After a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, there was a slight surge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
. Between 1998 and 2000, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
annually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visits
from 8. 2 to 8. 3.

Focusing on the line graph, it had same
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "patterned".
pattern
for all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
. 14-24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
at 15 percentage, which was the
Use "higher" to make a comparison with this adjective.
highest
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 1996. After that, it fluctuated till the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, and in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, it reached at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 20%.
Furthermore
, For 25 to 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
a minimal fall than 14-24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, this figure
also
fluctuated till 2000. More that 10%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
between 35-49,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were less
The usual collocation for "interested" is "in" not "for". Did you mean "interested in"?
interested for
visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
.
Moreover
, 50 and more than 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
10 percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, and then all kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
followed similar pattern.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that there was escalating in the proportion population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
was declining.
On the other hand
, 14-24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were incredible
The usual collocation for "interested" is "in" not "for". Did you mean "interested in"?
interested for
visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
.
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IELTS academic we were given a table and a line graph describing the different age groups people who visited cinemas between 1996 and 2000 in Australia.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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