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U.S. per capita sweetener availability

U. S. per capita sweetener availability bb213
The line graph gives the information about the four sweetners like honey, edible syrups, corn sweeteners and refined beet and cane sugars available in every house of USA in forty-five-year period. The dry weight is measured in terms of pounds per individual. Overall, the sweeteners of U. S per capita were varying during the given time interval. In the year 1998, there was an improvement. Honey and edible syrups had marginal changes from 1966-2011. From 1966-1986, there had been a rapid increase in the availability of corn sweetner and reached the level of 60 pounds per person from 18 pounds per person. However, gradual increase was seen after 1986 till 2011. While, refined cane and beet sugars indicated complete downward trend. In the year 1966, 100 pounds per person was accessible. There was a sudden drop from the year 1972. In addition to this, it reduced to 60 pounds per person. From the year, 1986 to 2011 it was stagnant. Honey and edible syrups had the steady availability throughout the period. From the year 1992- 1994, the obtainable source was very low. There were fluctuations in the total but there was difference between initial and the final years and was minimal. Hence, money and edible syrups were the lowest throughout the period.
The line graph gives the information about the four
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sweetners
like honey,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
edible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syrups
, corn sweeteners and refined beet and cane sugars available in every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
in forty-five-year period. The dry weight
is measured
in terms of pounds per individual.
Overall
, the sweeteners of U. S per capita were varying during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time interval. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1998, there was an improvement. Honey and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
edible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syrups
had marginal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
from 1966-2011. From 1966-1986, there had been a rapid increase in the availability of corn
Possible spelling mistake found.
sweetner
and reached the level of
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60 pounds
per
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person
from
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18 pounds
per
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person
.
However
, gradual increase was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
after 1986 till 2011. While, refined cane and beet sugars indicated complete downward trend. In the
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year
1966,
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100 pounds
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
was accessible. There was a sudden drop from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1972.
In addition
to this, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
60 pounds
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, 1986 to 2011 it was stagnant. Honey and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
edible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syrups
had the steady availability throughout the period. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
1992- 1994
, the obtainable source was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low. There were fluctuations in the total
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was difference between initial and the final years and was minimal.
Hence
, money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
edible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
syrups
were the lowest throughout the period.
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IELTS academic U. S. per capita sweetener availability

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
212 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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