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average monthly temperature in three major cities.

average monthly temperature in three major cities. D6Y06
The line graph is record of mean temperatures of Paris, Boston and Melbourne throughout year. Overall, it is observed that in Melbourne temperature remains steady and hotter from January to December with slight fluctuations. Whereas, in Paris and Boston drastic changes in season can be recorded as start and end of year remains cooler and remaining year temperatures are moderately hot. By the start of year Melbourne records higher degree that is 26 degrees. Which decrease steadily till July at 16 degree, from where again climate became hotter and get stable at 26 degrees as the year ends. On the other hand, Paris and Boston are cooler cities from October to April and no temperature is recorded above 15 degrees throughout this period. Additionally, from May change in climate is observed and peaked in July and august where Paris shows maximum temperature of 24 degrees centigrade and Boston reached 32 degrees. Moreover, from September both cities quoted steep decline of 5 degrees every month to a minimum of 5 degrees by the end of the year.
The line graph is record of mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperatures
of Paris, Boston and Melbourne throughout year.

Overall
, it
is observed
that in Melbourne
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temperature
remains steady and hotter from January to December with slight fluctuations. Whereas, in Paris and Boston drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in season can
be recorded
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
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year
remains cooler and remaining
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year
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temperatures
are
moderately
hot.

By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of
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year
Melbourne records higher
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degree
that is
26
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degrees
. Which decrease
steadily
till July at 16
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degree
, from where again climate became hotter and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stable at 26
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degrees
as the
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year
ends.

On the other hand
, Paris and Boston are cooler cities from October to April and no
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temperature
is recorded
above 15
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degrees
throughout this period.
Additionally
, from May
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in climate
is observed
and peaked in July and august where Paris
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
maximum
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temperature
of 24
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degrees
centigrade and Boston reached 32
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degrees
.
Moreover
, from September both cities quoted steep decline of 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
every month to a minimum of 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic average monthly temperature in three major cities.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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