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The city with the best overall environment is Tokyo.

The city with the best overall environment is Tokyo. 9QRxx
The city with the best overall environment is Tokyo. Although it has a high population it rates only a 4/10 in levels of ambient noise. Even for the high population 100% of homes have water and electricity. Unlike Los Angeles and Mexico City which has a 94% rate. The traffic in rush hour is not the lowest with a rating of 44. 8. As for the murders they are very unlikey to happen because the rate is at 1. 4 in 100, 000 people. Its the safest city from the chart, the highest being Mexico City with a rate of 27. 6. Education is also considered to be a very important aspect. Tokyo's has a 97% rate of children who are enrolled in secondary school. In conclusion Tokyo has the overall best environment from the cities on the chart.
The city with the best
overall
environment is Tokyo.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
it has a high population it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a 4/10 in levels of ambient noise. Even for the high population 100% of homes have water and electricity. Unlike Los Angeles and Mexico City which has a 94%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. The traffic in rush hour is not the lowest with a rating of 44. 8. As for the murders they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
unlikey
to happen
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because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is at 1. 4 in 100, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
the safest city from the chart, the highest being Mexico City with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of 27. 6. Education is
also
considered to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect. Tokyo's has a 97%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of children who
are enrolled
in secondary school.
In conclusion
Tokyo has the
overall
best environment from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
on the chart.
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IELTS academic The city with the best overall environment is Tokyo.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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