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The charts illustrate the shopping sales on online in areas Canada in 2005 and 2010.

The charts illustrate the shopping sales on online in areas Canada in 2005 and 2010. 3bJRN
The charts illustrate the shopping sales on online in areas Canada in 2005 and 2010. Overall, Video Games and Food & Beverage were tending upwards only five years. On the contrary, Home Furnishings and Electronics & Appliance were towards decreasing. On the one hand, Entertainment demand was gradually popularity with citizen, that’s why video game was sold sharp an increase in shopping online with only 18% in 2005 and growth at 23% in 2010. The similar trending retail was Food & Beverage which boom dramatically in five years, it was only 22% in 2005 and reached a peak of 32% in 2010. On the other hand, Home Furnishings declined markedly between 2005 and 2010. It got 25% in 2005 but in the later 5 years, was at15% in 2010. The following a reduction was Electionics & Appliance when it got the top in the online sales at 35% in 2005 then after over five years for sales online, Electionics & Appliance went down to 30% in 2010.
The charts illustrate the shopping sales on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in areas Canada in 2005 and 2010.

Overall
, Video Games and Food & Beverage were tending upwards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
five years.
On the contrary
, Home Furnishings and Electronics & Appliance were towards decreasing.

On the one hand, Entertainment demand was
gradually
popularity with citizen, that’s why video game
was sold
sharp an increase in shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
18% in 2005 and growth at 23% in 2010. The similar trending retail was Food & Beverage which boom
dramatically
in five years, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
22% in 2005 and reached a peak of 32% in 2010.

On the other hand
, Home Furnishings declined
markedly
between 2005 and 2010. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
25% in 2005
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the later 5 years, was at15% in 2010. The following a reduction was
Possible spelling mistake found.
Electionics
& Appliance when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the top in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sales at 35% in 2005 then after over five years for sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Electionics
& Appliance went down to 30% in 2010.
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IELTS academic The charts illustrate the shopping sales on online in areas Canada in 2005 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
167 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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