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The charts below show what UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. v.1

The charts below show what UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. v. 1
The charts illustrate the number of graduate and post-graduate students did after completing their course in a college excluding full-time work in the UK in the year 2008. Overall, both the graduate and post-graduate scholar had a maximum number of students attending further study, and the least number of students were engaged in voluntary work. Also, the count of graduates was too large than post-graduates. According to the first bar chart, approximately 30, 000 graduate students were planning for further study in 2008. Where the number of part-time workers and unemployed were likely to be same, they were just above 15, 000. A tiny number of people (3500) were active in voluntary works. Again, from the second chart, like graduates, a significant number of post-graduates scholars were doing further study, which is nearly ten times lesser than graduate. But, the part-time worker accounted for 2535 people, that was the second choice for the students. In addition, 1625 of them were unemployed that year, the count for a volunteer was below 500
The charts illustrate the
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number
of
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graduate
and post-graduate
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students
did after completing their course in a college excluding full-time work in the UK in the year 2008.

Overall
, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
and post-graduate scholar had a maximum
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
attending
further
study, and the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were engaged
in voluntary work.
Also
, the count of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
was too
Use "larger" to make a comparison with this adjective.
large
than post-graduates.

According to the
first
bar chart, approximately 30, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were planning for
further
study in 2008. Where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of part-time workers and unemployed were likely to be same, they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 15, 000. A tiny
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
(3500) were active in voluntary works.

Again, from the second chart, like
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graduates
, a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of post-graduates scholars were doing
further
study, which is
nearly
ten times lesser than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the part-time worker accounted for 2535
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, that was the second choice for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
In addition
, 1625 of them
were unemployed
that year, the count for a volunteer was below 500
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS academic The charts below show what UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. v. 1

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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