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The charts below show the working patterns of mothers with young children to care for.

Establishing facilities on recreation and sports are less cost, compared with more money on space exploration are spent by the government. This is agree that space exploration are more interesting because it explores new habitat for living and potential energy sources. The popular assumption that power resources on space are plenty, and it leads to replace natural energies in the earth. Even if in this planet have a reserve, in the long run, it impacts to environment degradation because more and more exploration in the Earth. Therefore, this activities brings the governments and all inhabitans in the world more having sustainable resources. An example, a researcher invents that asteroid materials consist of chemical substain like H2, NO2 and K204, and also this substains can be oil and gas after naturing process. Also, it implies to reduce the percentages of fuel energies, having around 20%. Secondly, It have a benefit for living area in the future, leading to reduce population growth in the Earth. As such, the space exploration have a potential to have human inhabitans since there are plenty planets have a characteristic same as the earth. Thus, it can reduce the percentage of land use and decrease population. For instance, NASA said that the geology structures between Mars and Earth have the similaritas of soil composition like sand and clay, while SpaceX company will send around 200 adults in 2025, becoming the first group of humans living in the outside the Earth. In conclusion, although researchs activities on the space are expensive, these make life expectancy in that one becomes reality and reduce the percentage of using natural energies from the Earth. Will this cost helping them to reduce ride on this planet?
Establishing facilities on recreation and sports are less cost, compared with more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
are spent
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This is
Consider using either the past participle “agreed” or the present participle “agreeing” here.
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
are more interesting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it explores new habitat for living and potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
sources.

The popular assumption that power resources on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
, and it leads to replace natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
. Even if in this planet have a reserve, in the long run, it impacts to environment degradation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
.
Therefore
,
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘activities’. Did you mean “these”?
this
activities brings the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and all
Possible spelling mistake found.
inhabitans
in the world more having sustainable resources. An example, a researcher invents that asteroid materials consist of chemical
Possible spelling mistake found.
substain
like
Replace by the typographical symbol.
H2
, NO2 and K204, and
also
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
substains
can be oil and gas after
Possible spelling mistake found.
naturing
process.
Also
, it implies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the percentages of fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
, having around 20%.

Secondly
, It
After ‘It’, use the third-person verb form “has”.
have
a benefit for living area in the future, leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
population growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
. As such, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
have a potential to have human
Possible spelling mistake found.
inhabitans
since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
planets have a characteristic same as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
.
Thus
, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the percentage of land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and decrease population.
For instance
, NASA said that the geology structures between Mars and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
have the
Possible spelling mistake found.
similaritas
of soil composition like sand and clay, while SpaceX
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
around 200 adults in 2025, becoming the
first
group of humans living in the outside the Earth.

In conclusion
, although
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “researches”, the plural form of the noun ‘research’?
researchs
activities on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
are expensive, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life expectancy in that one becomes reality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the percentage of using natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
. Will this cost helping them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
ride on this planet?
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IELTS academic The charts below show the working patterns of mothers with young children to care for.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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