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A gadget that makes you more intelligent

It is vivid that 21st century is technological era and everything is changing by gadgets. It has pros and cons but from my point of view advantages outweigh the disadvantages. First, the biggest advantage is that gadget called smartphone gets better your life. It can aim you day-to-day life and make it much more convenient and easier. For instance, when i am eager to move another district and do not know the right way, map is here. Google maps is application that shows you the streets and etc. To be honest, smartphones makes you more intelligent. Another advantage of having smartphone is that you have access whole internet. On the internets we can find books, news papers and loads of information. From my experience, I prefer to just 'Google'it and search information rather than go to the library. To sum up, gadgets make our life comfortable and ourself more smart.
It is vivid that 21st century is technological era and everything is changing by gadgets. It has pros and cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from my point of view advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
First
, the biggest advantage is that gadget called smartphone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
better your life. It can aim you day-to-day life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it much more convenient and easier.
For instance
, when
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am eager to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
another district and do not know the right way, map is here.
Did you mean “Google Maps”?
Google maps
It seems that the correct verb form here is “are”.
is
application that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
you the streets
Write the name of the item after ‘and’ or use only “etc”.
and etc
. To be honest, smartphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you more intelligent. Another advantage of having smartphone is that you have access whole internet. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
internets
we can find books,
This is normally spelled as one word.
news papers
and loads of information. From my experience, I prefer to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
'Google'it and search information
rather
than go to the library. To sum up, gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life comfortable and
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
more smart.
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IELTS academic A gadget that makes you more intelligent

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
150 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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