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The charts below show the results of the survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The our chart shows how people think the cost of adult education should be shared.

The charts below show the results of the survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The our chart shows how people think the cost of adult education should be shared. 6q10
The given diagrams depict the adult education search reports. The bar diagram illustrates why the adults prefer to study and the pie diagram shows how the cost of each course should be taken by three group of people. Overall it is clear that, the majority of the adult decided to study because of their interest in subjects and to gain qualifications, and also the individual are most responsible for take up expenses of education. Around 40% of the adult are interested in the subjects and they prefer to study. Almost similar proportion of people decided to study to gain qualification. Only below 10% of people consider education as the way to meet new people. About 12% adult like to change their current job and they decided to get education. Mainly there are three group of people are responsible for paying the expenses for paying the expenses of adult education and major proportion of the education costs are taken up by individual(40%). Employers and tax payers spend 35% and 25% of the total cost of education.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagrams depict the adult
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education
search reports. The bar diagram illustrates why the
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adults
prefer to
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study
and the pie diagram
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shows
how the cost of each course should
be taken
by three
Possible agreement error. The noun 'group' seems to be countable, so consider using: "groups".
group
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Overall
it is
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clear
that, the majority of the adult decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their interest in subjects and to gain qualifications, and
also
the individual are most responsible for take up expenses of education.

Around 40% of the adult
are interested
in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
subjects and
they prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Almost similar proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to gain qualification.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
below 10% of
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people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. About 12% adult like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
education.

Mainly
there are three
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "groups"?
group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are responsible for paying the expenses for paying the expenses of adult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and major proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
costs
are taken
up by individual(40%). Employers and tax payers spend 35% and 25% of the total cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.

IELTS academic The charts below show the results of the survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The our chart shows how people think the cost of adult education should be shared.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The charts below show the results of the survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The our chart shows how people think the cost of adult education should be shared.