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The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.

According to graph exhibit resulting to investigate of adult education. The first graph exhibit the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart exhibit how people suppose the costs of adults education should of shared. As for, Many adults had different reason to choose studying, the firstly is reason we used graph the highest reason that interest in subject approximately 40 percentage and following second was reason adults who Want to gain qualifications about 38 percentage, beside, some adults studied to have helpful for current job and to improve prospects of promotion, enjoy learning approximately each occupy 20 percentage. lastly, adults study to occupy smallest reason which was to meet people about 9 percentage. Otherwise, we used pie graph adults who costs of each course should be shared style highest the individual around 40 percentage and which stabilized Second the employer to occupy pie chart 35 percentage, finally, people who suppose the costs of adults education smallest the taxpayer approximately to occupy chart 25 percentage. In conclusion, the first chart adults accepted education studying the best reason person interested subjects and some themselves career developing condition. For pie graph adults study some the costs of each course should be shared people who suppose should be individual and employer to occupy the main part.
According to
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graph
exhibit resulting to investigate of adult
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education
. The
first
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graph
exhibit the
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reason
why
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adults
decide to study. The
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pie
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chart
exhibit how
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people
suppose the
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costs
of
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adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
It's never correct to use 'of' after a modal verb. Use "should have", or, in informal register, "should've".
should of
shared. As for,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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adults
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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reason
to choose studying, the
firstly
is
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reason
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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graph
the highest
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reason
that interest in subject approximately 40
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percentage
and following second was
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reason
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adults
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
who


Want to gain qualifications about 38
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percentage
, beside,
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some
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adults
studied to have helpful for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
job and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
prospects of promotion, enjoy learning approximately each
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occupy
20
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percentage
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lastly
,
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adults
study to
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occupy
A determiner is probably missing here: "the smallest".
smallest
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reason
which was to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
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people
about 9
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percentage
.
Otherwise
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
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pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
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adults
who
Did you mean "cost"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'adults' should be used.
costs
of each course should
be shared
style highest the individual around 40
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percentage
and which stabilized

Second the employer to
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occupy
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pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
35
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percentage
,
finally
,
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people
who suppose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
smallest the taxpayer approximately to
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occupy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
25 percentage.

In conclusion
, the
first
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chart
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adults
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accepted
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education
studying the best
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reason
person interested subjects and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
themselves career developing condition. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
of each course should
be shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who suppose should be individual and employer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupy
the main part.

IELTS academic The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.