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The charts below show the proportions of British students at one University in England.

The two pie charts demonstrate what percent of students in Britain are capable of speaking foreign languages in addition to English, in year 2000 and ten years later, in 2010. Overall, majority of British students were speaking Spanish as Spanish speakers form at least 30 and 35 percent of total students in 2000 and 2010, respetively. In 2000, one-fifth of the student were only able to speak English and knew no other languages at all. However, share of this students had shrank to one-tenth by 2010. Similarly, learning French has faced decreasing demand among British pupils and went from 15% to 10% in the reported period. Proportion of English and German bilinguals between all of the British students remained 10% constant and experiencing neither a rise nor a fall. On the other hand, interests for speaking more than one language beside English, have grown. Also as the charts suggest, British students were chosing another foreign language, else than German, French or Spanish, more frequently in 2010 in comparison to 2000, due to the fact that percentage of those students have rosen from 15% in 2000 to 20% by 2010.
The two pie charts demonstrate what percent of
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students
in Britain are capable of speaking foreign
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languages
in addition
to English, in year 2000 and ten years later, in 2010.
Overall
,
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majority of
British
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students
were speaking Spanish as Spanish speakers form at least 30 and 35 percent of total
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students
in 2000 and 2010,
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respetively
.

In 2000, one-fifth of the
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student
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
able to speak English and knew no other
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languages
at all.
However
, share of
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘students’. Did you mean “these”?
this
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students
had
Use past participle here: “shrunk”, “shrunken”.
shrank
to one-tenth by 2010.
Similarly
, learning French has faced decreasing demand among British pupils and went from 15% to 10% in the reported period. Proportion of English and German bilinguals between
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
British
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students
remained 10% constant and experiencing neither a rise nor a fall.

On the other hand
,
The usual collocation for “interests” is “in”, not “for”. Did you mean “interests in”?
interests for
speaking more than one
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language
beside English, have grown.
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Also
as the charts suggest, British
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students
were
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chosing
another foreign
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language
, else than German, French or Spanish, more
frequently
in 2010
in comparison
to 2000, due to the fact that percentage of those
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students
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
rosen
from 15% in 2000 to 20% by 2010.
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IELTS academic The charts below show the proportions of British students at one University in England.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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