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The charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2010.

The charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2010. xpP9

The two figures compare the net and the web shopping market shares for retail districts in New Zealand in 2003 and a decade later. It can be observed that there was a general decrease in sales except in books and films. In 2003, more than a third of sales were for travel, by this period this area has the biggest proportion out of all, on the contrary, this dropped to 29% after 10 years. Furthermore, garments were approximately a quarter in 2003 but this fell dramatically until only 16% by the end of the timeframe. On the other hand, market shares for the purchases of the books were calculated at 19% in the first year, this grew exponentially to more than a fifth in 2013. Finally, 21% was the given ratio for the purchases for the film, but saw considerable increases by the end of the period and was roughly a third.

The two figures compare the net and the web shopping market shares for retail districts in New Zealand in 2003 and a decade later. It can be observed
 that there was a general decrease in sales except in books and films. In 2003, more than a third of sales were for travel, by this period this area has the biggest proportion out of all, on the contrary
, this dropped to 29% after 10 years. Furthermore
, garments were approximately a quarter in 2003 This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 this fell dramatically
 until This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 16% by the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :expiration
end
 of the timeframe. On the other hand
, market shares for the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquires
purchases
 of the books were calculated
 at 19% in the first
 year, this grew exponentially
 to more than a fifth in 2013. Finally
, 21% was the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
 ratio for the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquires
purchases
 for the film, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
saw
 considerable increases by the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :expiration
end
 of the period and was roughly a third. 

IELTS academic The charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2010.

Academic

American English

1 paragraphs

152 words

6.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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One main idea per paragraph
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Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 7.0

Answer all parts of the question
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Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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