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The line graph shows how many people go to the zoo’s every month as popular exhibits.

The line graph shows how many people go to the zoo’s every month as popular exhibits. eo1p
The line graph illustrates how many people go to the zoo’s every month as popular exhibits. It was given Aquarium, Giant Pandas and Penguin encounter as the number of visitors. Overall, the three different options in the line graph shows similar trends at 12 months in a year. It can obviously be seen that the lowest number of visitors is in the winter season with around 150. 000 people within aquarium, giant pandas, and penguin encounter. The number of visitors is increasing rapidly from winter season to summer. In additionally, the number of people who visit giant pandas reached a peak in August with 550. 000 people. Following that the second highest is aquarium with over 500. 000 people in August. Although, penguin encounter holds the lowest number of visitors with approximately 475. 000 people in August, the number of people who visit penguin encounter is the highest one with around 275. 000 in December.
The line graph illustrates how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the zoo’s every month as popular exhibits.

It was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
Aquarium, Giant Pandas and Penguin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encounter
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors.

Overall
, the three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
options in the line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
similar trends at 12 months in a year.

It can
obviously
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors is in
Consider using "winter".
the winter season
with around 150. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
within aquarium, giant pandas, and penguin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encounter
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors is increasing
rapidly
from winter season to summer. In
additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who visit giant pandas reached a peak in August with 550. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Following that the second highest is aquarium with over 500. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in August.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, penguin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encounter
holds the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitors with approximately 475. 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in August, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who visit penguin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
encounter
is the highest one with around 275. 000 in December.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows how many people go to the zoo’s every month as popular exhibits.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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