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The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit. v.2

The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit. v. 2
The illustration outlines how many foreign tourists travelled to the UK and how many UK residents went out to travel between 1979 and 1999. Moreover, it also shows where those UK citizens went in 1999. Overall, the influx of tourists in the UK was fewer than the number of British who travelled outside, and France was their favourite destination. In details, 10 million tourists visited the United Kingdom in 1979 while around 13 million British spent their holidays out of the country. From 1979 to 1999, the outbound UK residents' number was higher than the inrush of foreign tourists in the UK. The gap widens in later years and finally in 1999, almost 55 million British left the country to travel outside while just over 25 million other nationalities entered the UK border as tourists. France was the favourite destination to British travellers as more than 10 million British travelled there in 1999. With around 2 million UK tourists, Turkey was their least preferred holiday place. Spain was visited by approximately 8 million UK travellers which made it the second most popular destination this year. USA and Greece received the third and fourth most-visited places by UK tourists with between 2 to 3 million tourists each.
The illustration outlines how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreign
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tourists
travelled to the UK and how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
UK residents went out to travel between 1979 and 1999.
Moreover
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
where those UK citizens went in 1999.

Overall
, the influx of
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tourists
in the UK was fewer than the number of British who travelled outside, and France was their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
destination.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, 10
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visited the United Kingdom in 1979 while around 13
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million
British spent their holidays out of the country. From 1979 to 1999, the outbound UK residents' number was higher than the inrush of foreign
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tourists
in the UK. The gap widens in later years and
finally
in 1999, almost 55
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million
British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the country to travel outside while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 25
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million
other nationalities entered the UK border as tourists.

France was the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
destination to British
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
as more than 10
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million
British travelled there in 1999. With around 2
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million
UK
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tourists
, Turkey was their least preferred holiday place. Spain
was visited
by approximately 8
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million
UK
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
which made it the second most popular destination this year. USA and Greece received the third and fourth most-visited places by UK
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tourists
with
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2 and 3".
between 2 to 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
each.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS academic The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most popular countries for UK residents to visit. v. 2

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
206 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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