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The charts above show the working patterns of mothers with young children to care for. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the charts.

The charts above show the working patterns of mothers with young children to care for. The picture illustrates the caring of mother with children based on working. Overall, youngest children are caried by their mother based on aged, and those are determined on working pattern by their mother. The biggest percentage of mothers choosing not working care children in 0-2 years and 3-4 years old, making up at 70% and 54% respectively, while working in part-time shows the reverse in those, with the same proportion around one in ten. Moreover, the remaining choosing job is working full-time in those, accounting for 19% and 35%. However, more than two fifths and almost half of working full-time are the highest proportion in mothers caring their child in 5-9 years and above 10 years old. Also, working part-time accounts for almost less than a fifth in those, while the latter ones are approximately less than a third. Furthermore, choosing unemployment is in those, with 38% and 26% successively.
The charts above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
patterns of mothers with young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to care for.

The picture illustrates the caring of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
based on working.

Overall
,
A determiner is probably missing here: “the youngest”.
youngest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
caried
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
based on aged, and those
are determined
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
pattern by their mother.

The biggest percentage of mothers choosing not
If ‘choosing’ is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: “to work”.
working
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in 0-2 years and 3-4 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, making up at 70% and 54%
respectively
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in part-time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the reverse in those, with the same proportion around one in ten.
Moreover
, the remaining choosing job is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
full-time in those, accounting for 19% and 35%.

However
, more than two fifths and almost half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
full-time are the highest proportion in mothers caring their child in 5-9 years and above 10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
part-time accounts for almost less than a fifth in those, while the latter ones are approximately less than a third.
Furthermore
, choosing unemployment is in those, with 38% and 26%
successively
.
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IELTS academic The charts above show the working patterns of mothers with young children to care for. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the charts.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
165 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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