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The chart shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia {Darwin (1), Sydney (2), Melbourne (3), Brisbane (4), Perth (5) and Canberra (6)} in October 2009 and October 2010

The chart shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia {Darwin (1), Sydney (2), Melbourne (3), Brisbane (4), Perth (5) and Canberra (6)} in October 2009 and October 2010 D6PBa
The bar chart illustrates the water volumes of 6 towns in Australia included Darwin, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, and Canberra during October between 2009 and 2010. In general, it seems that the water levels on October 2010 mostly rose significantly compared to October 2009 for all the towns, respectively. However, water levels at Darwin’s town declined sharply on October 2010. All in all, there are at least four regions that has increased in water volumes which is Sydney, Melbourne, Perth and Canberra. Sydney went up around 5% from the previous year. Melbourne also shows a similar trend and jumped drastically around 13% and both of Perth and Canberra have increased around 20%. Furthermore, Brisbane still remained unchanged since last year. In contrast, Darwin has dropped shortly around 14%. In summary, the water volumes increased at some area of the country, the other still stay the same or even decreased in 2010.
The bar chart illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
volumes of 6 towns in Australia included Darwin, Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, and Canberra during October between 2009 and 2010.

In general
, it seems that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
levels on October 2010
mostly
rose
significantly
compared to October 2009 for all the towns,
respectively
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
levels at Darwin’s town declined
sharply
on October 2010.

All in all, there are at least four regions that has increased in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
volumes which is Sydney, Melbourne, Perth and Canberra. Sydney went up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
5% from the previous year. Melbourne
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a similar trend and jumped
drastically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
13% and both of Perth and Canberra have increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
20%.
Furthermore
, Brisbane
still
remained unchanged since last year.

In contrast
, Darwin has dropped shortly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
14%. In summary, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
volumes increased at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
area of the country, the other
still
stay the same or even decreased in 2010.
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IELTS academic The chart shows the water levels of 6 cities in Australia {Darwin (1), Sydney (2), Melbourne (3), Brisbane (4), Perth (5) and Canberra (6)} in October 2009 and October 2010

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
151 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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