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describe the chart about music sale in the uk

describe the chart about music sale in the uk 7J7YY
the chart illustrates the UK annual music sales data between 1990 and 2020. the unit is measured in pound sterling (£). Overall, in the beginning of the period CD dominates the total sale. However, digital music was dramatically increase in number of sale since 2005 to 2020. In 1990 CD was the most popular media for people to enjoy music with £500 sale a year. it rose steadily reaching its peak in 2000 with around £700 before falling down to approximately £100 in the end of the period. The similar trend was occurred in cassettes music sales which was started as second most purchased music with £100 of total sales in 1990, but steadily drop to become the lowest bought music in the end of the period. In the other hand, digital music which was less popular in 1990 made an exponential jump from less than £100 in 1990 to £2000 in 2020. In addition, Vinyl was the most stable music in the market and even showed positive trend. It had £100 sale in the beginning of the period, then slightly rose to reach the same amount of sale with CDs in 2020.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
chart illustrates the UK annual
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music
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sales
data between 1990 and 2020.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
unit
is measured
in pound sterling (£).
Overall
, in the beginning of the period CD dominates the total
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sale
.
However
, digital
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music
was
dramatically
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
in number of
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sale
since 2005 to 2020.

In 1990 CD was the most popular media for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to enjoy
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music
with £500
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sale
a year.
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it
rose
steadily
reaching its peak in 2000 with around £700
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling down to approximately £100 in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period. The similar trend
was occurred
in cassettes
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music
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sales
which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
as second most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
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music
with £100 of total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in 1990,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
steadily
drop to become the lowest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
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music
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

In the other hand, digital
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music
which was less popular in 1990 made an exponential jump from less than £100 in 1990 to £2000 in 2020.

In addition
, Vinyl was the most stable
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music
in the market and even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend. It had £100
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sale
in the beginning of the period, then
slightly
rose to reach the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sale
with CDs in 2020.
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IELTS academic describe the chart about music sale in the uk

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
193 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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